A Whisper from Deep Within: “There’s more to Life than this.”
Originally published November 23, 2015
I signed up for my first Awareness Institute weekend workshop because I’d had enough of myself. I’d had enough of the self-hatred and the self-pitying, enough of the shame and regret. I signed up for the workshop because something deep within me whispered, “There’s more to life than this.” Today, I couldn’t be more grateful for that whisper.
Roughly 10 years earlier I had experienced a significant turning point in my life, and it looked like a sudden and unexpected (and certainly unwelcome) loss of innocence. At 21 years old, the childhood-like ease of floating through the world with few cares and fewer responsibilities burst like a bubble, and I found myself without an anchor and without any context for what I was feeling. I was a victim of a harsh world and crappy luck. I couldn’t see a way out.
That first Awareness Institute weekend workshop I attended was called “Living Your Inspiration”, and I can say without hyperbole or exaggeration that the Monday after that workshop was a revelation. That day, I experienced myself in a way that I hadn’t in over a decade: confident, clear, loving, and happy. Sure, I’d had moments over the years touching into these flavors of experience, but they were always quickly followed by an equal if not outsized serving of the opposite: anxiety, uncertainty, resentment, and depression. But this time, using the tools I had just learned in the workshop, I found myself sustaining an authentic feeling of peace. It was incredible. That Monday was one of the best days of my life.
That workshop was almost two years ago, and I haven’t looked back. Yes, the work of taking an honest look within can be difficult at times, and I have moments of resistance. But there is also nothing more loving or nurturing that I could possibly do for me, for Kris. And there’s nothing more loving that I could do for my friends, family, partner, and everyone else in my world. Perhaps most important of everything I learned in that first workshop-and continue to learn from my time with the Awareness Institute- is that I (and no one else) am responsible for what I experience. Fully responsible. Without exception. And that is the most freeing truth I could ever, ever hope to know. Goodbye, victimhood. Goodnight, regret. So long, remorse. Each experience I create is perfect, and everything that I receive from it is perfect. Another opportunity to grow and learn about who I am; another opportunity to trust life.
Might you have a little whisper deep within, gently calling you towards a life of inspiration, trust, and love? Listen to it, and come join us at the Awareness Institute.
Kris
Kris is a team volunteer for the Awareness Institute.